We’re all trying to create our dream life, right? The dream career, dream relationship, dream house, dream bank account. Most of us spend a lot of time very focused on our path; we set goals every year, we journal, we read books, listen to podcasts, take courses, and visualize ourselves with that ideal job or business, that perfect partner, the financial freedom, the house. Once we kind of discover our passions and what we want a lot of our life starts to revolve around the path to get what we want.

We put so much time and energy into reaching our dreams, that it can be really scary, shocking, and disheartening if we reach a point that we’re like ‘whoa, maybe this isn’t actually what I want’. It can feel like we’ve wasted time or did something wrong or failed somehow. Believe me, I get it. I’ve always been the kind of person with a plan: I knew where I was going, and what my life was going to be like. I had a vision and passions! I have spent so much time working towards what I want, visualizing myself in that life, and you know what happened when it started to fall into place? I was fucking miserable. I felt like a failure because when the things I had always visualized actually started happening, instead of feeling happy, I felt incredibly stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. I was forcing myself to do the work that I thought was my passion and it didn’t feel easy, fun, or inspired. So WTF?

The thing is, the vision I had twenty, ten, or even five years ago was the vision of the person I was at that time. I’m about to turn 30, and I’ve changed more than I ever thought possible. The person I am now is so radically different from the person I was, so why would I expect my dreams, goals, and vision to stay the same? We get so attached to our ‘path’ that it’s really hard to get off of it. For me, I felt like diverting from my path meant I was giving up or quitting, and I didn’t want to be someone who would give up on her dreams. But really, that path had just been a place for me to learn and grow, and deciding to go on a different path wasn’t quitting….it was just changing my mind, which is completely 100% okay. Realizing that my plan just wasn’t serving me anymore was a massive weight off my shoulders, and allowing myself to ‘quit’ certain aspects of my dream life and refocus feels really, really good.

Whatever your goals and dreams are for your best life, just know that over the years as you change, that might change too. And that’s totally cool. It’s great actually. You can have 30 dream jobs, 10 dream businesses, live in 100 different cities, go in and out of relationships, drive different cars, backpack for a year then decide you want to live in a cushy condo with a personal assistant…..quitting isn’t failing, it’s brave. If you have the confidence to know, feel, and decide that something just isn’t right for you anymore and be OK with that, then you’re on the right track.

 

Author: ErinLane

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