It’s pretty easy to get caught up in today’s problems and tomorrow’s anxieties. I mean, it’s pretty hard not to get stressed out. Bills keep coming up (annoying AF how they keep doing that like…every month), relationships have ups and downs, your job gets overwhelming, your dog pees on your bed (I’m looking at you, sausage dog – life gets stressful. But how often do you look back at your old goals, hopes, dreams, and wishes and compare them to how things are now? Chances are, you’re someone today that you would have killed to be back in the day.
I had this epiphany this week when I was having a stressy kind of week. I was going a little out of my mind with things stacking up: I have a million things to get organized for the blog in the next few weeks (there’s big stuff in the works), I had to drive up to LA on Wednesday to shoot a live TV show, I had to miss a big audition because I was double booked, the 3 month consulting & marketing contract I accepted was shaping up to be an insane amount of work, my dog was having a major case of separation anxiety, funds were beginning to run a little low, bills for May are starting to pile up, my skin has been going crazy with stress pimples, and I was having major fomo missing out on a horse show that everyone else was attending. Absolutely champagne problems, I am aware, but stressful enough to put me in my weird anxious/sensitive/snappy place that I can get into when I’m overwhelmed.
Whenever I get into that kind of state of being, I try to figure out how to pull myself out of it as quick as possible. It’s not about not being ok with being stressed; I’m all about accepting feelings…I have so many feeling you guys, I’ve really come to be ok with that. It’s about finding a way to productively move on to a state that just feels better. Basically, if the circumstances are going to be how they are, the only thing I can change is the attitude I meet them with, so might as well be sassy and solid. When I was trying to figure out the best way to shake myself out of the doubt & overwhelm, I had this weird flashback of myself about 8 years ago. I remember making, and I kid you not, approximately $1200 a month and struggling to pay a $700/month rent (I shared a room in a 2 bedroom apartment with another girl; one year I actually filed tax returns for a $14,000 yearly income), hustling to book unpaid hosting jobs, and spending hours building my vision boards. I always had big dreams, so there were some big things on there, but there were also a lot of 10 year goal kind of things. Things I wanted real bad. A few specific things on my 21 year old vision board? Getting a big LA talent agent, starting a blog, owning my own company, owning a luxury car, doing something to inspire other women, finding true love, buying a high end jumper horse, living by the beach, traveling the world, tripling my income, writing a book. Of course, there were also big big things like making $500,000 a year, traveling once a month, speaking at a conference, owning a six figure business…the usual. What really hit me about this though is I realized that I am actually living my vision board from 8 years ago. I’m literally living out my own dreams, and that is fucking amazing.
It’s not like that means I can’t still get stressed about stressful things. And it’s not like that means I don’t have bigger goals I’m working towards. But it was a big shake up in my reality to realize that the life I live right now is a life I would have been insanely jealous of 8 years ago. I would have looked at someone living this life and been like “holy shit, that’s what I want”. It’s weird to realize that. It’s really awesome, and it makes my day to day problems not seem so insurmountable. Also, it’s pretty inspiring looking towards the future, having in mind that apparently, I’m totally capable of achieving my goals. I didn’t achieve everything the exact way I thought I would, but that really just made it more exciting. I created my ‘dream life’ and now I get to just make it even better.
Life, stresses, bills, and everything else always expands to fit our current means and lifestyle (that’s why they say mo money, mo problems) so it’s hard to remember that this life, the one you have right this second, is probably something you dreamed about sometime in the past. It doesn’t mean it’s your ultimate dream life yet, and that’s fine, but it is something to keep in mind when the going gets…stressful.
What parts of your life today are things that you dreamed about, wished for, or wanted back in the day?