HI! It’s Erin.
I’m super fired up today. Get ready for some major realness / epiphanies / stuff that will maaaybe change your life.
Okay, so the past few months have been massively transformational for me. Not easy, holy shit not easy at ALL. It wasn’t what I expected, but I’ll talk about that specific part in the future. What I really want to talk to you guys about is this realization that I’ve recently had that I think has been the biggest block in my happiness in every single area of my life. Coming to this realization has truly been the craziest experience and I am so fucking grateful for it, I can’t even express it enough.
My whole life I wanted to be ‘special’. I’ve always focused pretty hard on needing to be recognized for my achievements and talents, and somewhere along the line I got it in my head that success ‘doesn’t count’ or isn’t ‘real’ unless it comes in a specific form or hits certain metrics. I also put a lot of energy into needing to have an above average life and do something really unique, outstanding, and special.
I am naturally a creative, expressive, extremely passionate person (although you might not know that from following me online – I’ve been unintentionally hiding for a while), so I felt drawn to a career as an actor and tv host. I do really love performing – I always have – but I’m pretty sure I chased that dream so hard for the complete wrong reasons. Actually, I know I did. Instead of loving, living, and breathing my craft in a real, beautiful way, I just wanted to land the job, and I wanted to be recognized. I also set out on a path where my success would only and could only be defined by ‘making it’ as a host or actor.
Eventually, failing to reach my goals wore me down and I moved out of LA and thought I had this epiphany that my real calling was as a blogger. It was really hard to let go of my acting dream but I had been trying (in the wrong ways, but I didn’t know that at the time) for ten years and seriously – nothing was happening. I didn’t even land an LA agent until like 8 years in. It was rough. So the thing is, blogging is a calling of mine….one of several. However, I kind of flopped around in the space for years and years and became so frustrated that I questioned what the hell I was doing.
Want to know the problem? I wasn’t blogging because I love writing, or because I wanted to share my passions and have a space to get fired up about what I love, or because I wanted to build an incredible community of women and make lifelong friends and support my tribe in following their dreams. I DO want all of those things. Desperately. But I see now that I was chasing a standard of ‘successful blogger’ that I created in my mind, and it was all based on comparison to other people’s success AND these criteria that I created on my own. I believed my success didn’t ‘count’ unless I made x amount per month, or had x engagement, or was represented by x management. I never felt successful day to day and was seriously always in a state of chase and it felt SHITTY.
I also hated doing other work that I am actually really, really good at – like marketing strategy – because in my mind, it was a ‘regular’ job – anything other than being a top blogger or famous actor was, to me, settling for average.
Just real quick – this is bullshit, and that’s something I know now. 100%.
Truth be told, I actually like developing marketing strategy and helping businesses grow, and I’m really fucking good at it. Like really good. Probably better than I am at hosting tv shows, which is what I made a modest career on for many years. It fires me up and ignites my skillset like nobody’s business. But I desperately wanted to only be a blogger because it was my ‘calling’ and it was more of a ‘standout’ career than being a boring ol’ marketing consultant & strategist. But I’m a damn good marketing consultant, and I manage marketing strategy like a MF boss. WHY would I want to deprive myself of doing something, for money, that I’m great at AND makes a huge impact on my clients by allowing them to grow their businesses? It makes NO SENSE. But to me, it did, in a warped way, for a long time.
I didn’t realize that my obsession with these standards of what defines ‘real’ success was actually causing me to fail with my blog, because I wasn’t sharing who I am, I wasn’t being authentic or vulnerable or real, I wasn’t connecting with my people, and I was doing it for the business and not for the love of everything that makes it tick.
You guys don’t know me at all, and that’s crazy. And it kills me. I want, more than anything, to connect with you and inspire you and support you. I created our MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM – THE SOCIETY to do just that, and then I realized that I had spent ALL of my time trying to sell a certain number of memberships and NONE of my time genuinely creating connections, building community, or writing or speaking about what lights me up and how I’ve poured it into this program. The program is incredible….we teamed up with 12 of the best coaches in the industry who each agreed to give a 2 hour long masterclass, so there’s one every month, and we built a content library that has courses and full length books and amazingness in it and we’re adding more content every month, and we made it really cheap because we want EVERYONE TO SUCCEED (it’s $12.50 a month for thousands of dollars worth of stuff and it’s mind blowing and life changing and I’m obsessed and so proud). But all I’ve been doing is designing FB ads and writing sales posts and completely ignoring what matters – connecting, community, spreading my passion, helping other women, being ME.
Listen – I’m done with all that bullshit, and you’ve got me – super real – now and forever. And I want to share with you the most important things I’ve discovered about SUCCESS:
- There is no definition of success. To find success, you just need to love your life, now. Success is living in your truth and doing what lights you up. Period.
- Comparison – whether you’re comparing yourself against someone else or against a standard that you created on your own – is pointless. There is no standard. There is no best way. There is no one or two ways to be successful.
- Everything changes and evolves, all the time. You can have many callings. You can be successful over and over and over again in big ways and small ways and ways you never ever thought of until they happened. You are MEANT to grow.
- Your life, your career, and your passions should be fun and fire you the fuck up. Not all the time, because shit is hard. But as a principle, that’s really all that matters.
- No one is going to give you recognition that matters except for yourself. Fame means nothing. Recognize yourself for what you’ve accomplished, and how awesome your dreams are.
- There is no such thing as being the ‘best’. You know what is the most special, and above average? Living your truth and living your life exactly how you want to live it.
- There’s nothing too low or too high, or too small or too big. Passions are passions, it doesn’t matter what they are. If you like it, do it. Period. There’s not ‘good jobs’ and ‘bad jobs’, the only bad thing is settling for a life that doesn’t let you follow your truth and what you love in any way.
Tell me in the comments what makes you feel successful on a day to day basis. I want to celebrate your wins with you, team up, and take over the fucking world.
We deserve it.
And we are ALL already succeeding.
*PS – if you want to sign up for a Society membership, click HERE to register and use code loveourtribehalfoff for 50% off your membership.